A Young Mom's Birthing Story

September 7th 2018 at exactly 1:00 p.m was when it all changed for me. I experienced so many feelings at once with such a quick labor that I honestly wasn’t sure how to react. I held my sweet babygirl Ayana for the very first time with my hands shaking and my heart beating out of my chest. Nervous, I held her as my heart was filled with nothing but happiness and peace. For me this was something big. I am a perfectionist, control freak or whatever else you wish to call it. This was one of the best moments of my entire life and coincidentally it was one that I could not plan. No matter how hard I tried to. Haha.

Let me bring you back to my birthing experience. My pregnancy was generally easy. My skin was glowing, my hair silky and I felt for the first time in my life more relaxed and serene. I was found to be less irritable and easier to get along with by my partner. I honestly miss being pregnant. Of course just like any pregnancy it is unique for each person, and there was many moments that were challenging for me. Nausea, headaches, extreme fatigue, swollen feet, these are just some of the things I remember.

By the end of the 7th month I could not wait to meet my baby girl and just have her out of me! Not having the support I wished to have around me was probably the aspect I hated the most about my pregnancy. It is something that is easier when you have a support system. Some people say it takes a village to raise a child, and it goes the same way for growing one inside of you. I think that pregnant women need all of the positive support they can get. My support system is quite small. It consists of my boyfriend, his family and my brother, that is all. I didn’t want any negative people near me or my baby bump.

Fast forward to the end of my pregnancy. I was nervous and excited all at the same time (as every soon to be mother is). My 39 week appointment with my gynecologist was hopeful, she told me I was already 2-3 centimeters dilated and that my labor should be relatively easy. She had also said she suspects I will go into labour within the next few days. I took her word to such high standard (my mistake). Don't do that, you might end up disappointed. I called my boyfriend and told him it could be at any moment. Not knowing how labor felt didn’t help much either. Every cramp I got I immediately thought I was going through labor but I would shortly tell myself that labour is excruciating so this cannot be the big moment. This thought came from my doctor when she told me “you’'ll know when” referring to the big moment. Oh boy is that bad advice.

I was sleeping when the contractions started. I had a feeling that this might be the big moment but that was the same feeling I had been getting for the past week, so I shrugged it off and tried to fall back asleep. It become stronger, these feelings would come and go, but it was definitely still bearable. Maybe about 10 minutes later I had to get out of bed, the pain was getting worse and I didn’t want to just lay down in the dark while by boyfriend slept next to me. I knew some tips ahead of time that would help ease the pain. Like taking warm baths, using a birthing ball, leaning against the wall, squatting and so on. I am a big fan of bubble baths so I filled up the bath as I started to experience worse and worse pain. The next 45 minutes included me getting in and out of the bath, pacing around the house, and kneeling on the floor. I felt like I had to move around, the contractions where getting so intense and nothing I was doing was helping. I was trying to time my contractions, which is a very hard task to do. It was hard to tell when they stopped for good and started up again. I called a helpline to ask for advice. The women on the phone told me that she doesn’t think I am going through labor and to call back in an hour.

An hour goes by and I almost cannot bear it. I am someone very sensitive and so I told myself that perhaps it is just be and this is just small cramps. I called the helpline back in tears as I was going through my contractions and she tried to console me and advise me to stay home. I kept trying to explain my symptoms so she would change her mind and agree that it was time to go. I felt like I needed her to confirm that I was going through labor because in the back of my mind I could still hear my doctor saying “You’ll know when you know” and I still had my doubts. Nevertheless, I hung up the phone, woke up my boyfriend and said its time to go.

Since we did not own a car at the time it meant that we were taking a taxi there. The contractions continued to worsen, when each contraction would finish I would suddenly feel a wave of relief. When we arrived at the hospital the Nurses didn’t take it seriously and most probably thought it was a false alarm until they checked my cervix. I was 7 cm dilated. They started to rush around, telling me if I wanted an epidural I have to decide right away. They called my doctor, got me a room and started the epidural process all within a span of 10-15 minutes.

I was positive for the GBS bacteria that could pass from me to my baby during labor, this slowed the labor down as they had to administer a antibiotic 4 hours before you deliver the baby. I had received the antibiotic at around 7 am and at 11:00 am I started pushing.

The nurse in my room had be begin “practicing” to push before the doctor arrived and I was already doing great. The doctor came into the room and began pushing as hard as I could. Unfortunately she performed an Episiotomy twice which was something I was most worried about, but these things happen. As soon as I held Ayana for the first time I completely forgot about the procedure.

After seeing her, holding her and watching her father hold her for the first time I knew that none of the pain would matter anymore even in the slightest. Up until this moment when I am recollecting the entire experience I hadn’t even thought about the painful contractions nor the horrible healing after the birth. This pure, genuine, beautiful love was and is all that matters.