How I Began To Feel Beautiful Again After Delivering My Baby

Your body changes in ways you never imagined to accommodate a baby. It can feel impossible to be comfortable in your skin after the delivery and it will take time to be yourself again. #postpartum #delivery #postpartumdepression #bodyimade #confidence #babybump #scars #stretchmarks #episiotomy #postpartumhealing #depression

Similar to many other mothers out there, I am someone extremely hard on myself and I often set unrealistic goals I know I cannot reach. Feeling sexy, beautiful or even comfortable in your postpartum body can be quite the challenge and it does not help if having low confidence was an issue before your pregnancy. In our society there are so many beauty standards and it is so accessible being all around us on social media, advertisements, commercials, movies, magazines and more. It is difficult to allow our bodies time to heal and rejuvenate when we so quickly want to jump back and have that incredible postpartum body as so many influencers do. The reality is they spend loads of money on diets, surgeries, rejuvenating treatments, personal trainers, and so on.

The day after delivering my daughter Ayana in September of 2018 it was my birthday and my boyfriend had bought me some weights that I had wanted for quite some time. I already had in mind that I wanted to bounce back into shape as quickly as possible and while we were still in the hospital I had him take photos on my body so that I would have something to reference back to and see progress. This is when my postpartum insecurities began about my body, I began to search when is the earliest you can start working out after a natural delivery and what kind of exercises to do to get back into shape. Because it can be very dangerous to start intense workouts after a delivery, especially a c-section. I had seen loads of before and after photos on women and I began to compare myself. I have an abundance of stretch marks and it is something that bothers me and I always hide. Through the thousands of baby bump, post pregnancy photos I have seen on women I have only seen a few that have a similar amount of stretch marks.

However, I did have hope that they would disappear with time. I have noticed that they have not changed in color and will always be apparent. Instead of wishing so badly that they will go away I am trying a different approach. To accept them and the rest of my new body and learn to love myself all over again. In all honesty even if I work out extremely hard some parts of my body will never be the same as before but who knows maybe they can be even better. I want to let go of this expectation that my body has to be a certain way and I definitely need to stop comparing myself. Everyone has different metabolisms, diets, habits, and perseverance.

My body has nourished and beared a child for 9 months, it has grown and stretched to accommodate my little girl. This is what I need to remind myself when I am feeling down about my body. It is normal, there are millions of people in the same situation as I am, there are support groups and many other women who you can go through this period with. There is nothing like going through something and having people around you who just can not relate or understand your situation. Go to some mom groups and open the conversation! You never know how much this can truly help you. Be honest with yourself, look at your body in the mirror for what it is and ask yourself if you are willing to put in the work to tone and tighten parts of your body that need it. Be kind to yourself.

As for my journey of getting back to my postpartum body, I have lost all of the baby weight and more in less than a few months. It was never the weight that bothered me it was the loose skin, stretch marks, larger and swollen breasts, the fat in places I never had, the hair loss, the acne etc. It takes some time to getting used to but I make steps each day to embetter my health and work on my body. By eating better and cleaner, working out 3 times a week, drinking over 2 litres of water a day, and maintaining my daily skincare routines. I do the best to push myself. It is very hard to continue to maintain my routine and at times I do get discouraged that I am not seeing progress fast enough. It is important to be fair with yourself and give yourself time.

Through maintaining my workouts and doing my best to eat better I began to start feeling proud of myself and happy that I was respecting my plan. This was a good start for me and I was able to grow from there. Some days I do feel a bit down and I am not happy with the way I look but I am able to notice I am feeling negative right away and find a positive way to work through it and remind myself I am beautiful.

It is a process. A never ending love story with yourself. Give yourself time.